Christian Purity Teenage Struggles

Get Over Him: 8 Ways to Finding Freedom

Get Over Him: 8 Ways to Finding Freedom


We have all been at that place where we needed to get over someone. It could’ve been someone you liked or someone you were in an actual relationship with. Whatever the case was, there were real feelings and emotions for that person and for some reason it didn’t work out. So now what? Here are some ways that can help you get over him and move on with your life in a healthy way.


1)  Cry- I’m dead serious. If you haven’t already, cry it out. Tears are the language that God gives us when we can’t find words to explain our pain. We like to hold things in which will only make it worse. Feelings are there to be processed. Otherwise it will come out in other unattractive ways like jealousy, bitterness, resentment, and anger. So grab your favorite pillow, turn up Adele, get your box of tissues, and open the floodgates.

2)  Stop being his friend- I know we may want to settle for any type of relationship just so we can keep that person in our life but it will only hurt you further. You deserve better than that. Especially when that person starts to date someone else and asks for your advice (stab heart and twist!). Regardless if he was your friend before you started dating, you need your space to heal and keep in mind you don’t owe him anything.

3)  Meet new people- Why not visit another Youth Group or try out a club at your school. Broadening your social circle will help you move on and your world won’t feel so small. This will be a fun and healthy distraction.

4)  Write a letter- Sometimes we need to be able to say everything we want to say without the threat of embarrassment, interruption, or conflict. The best way is to write or type a letter to that person. Whether you send that letter or not is your choice. Just remember to be realistic of the outcome if you do send it. It may range from a positive response, no response (which is a response in itself), or a negative one. Either way, prepare yourself and make sure it’s your final choice.

5)  Get support from your friends/family- Nothing beats a breakup like a sleepover. Sometimes in relationships we lose connection with our friends and family. This may be a great time to reconnect and really talk about what you went through and be reminded of who you are.

6)  Stop talking about it- I know this seems contradictory because I just said talk about it but there comes a time where you need to stop talking about it. Once you have cried, written your letter, vented to your friends and family, it is now time to move on.

7)  Pray, pray, and pray- Sometimes there are things that only God can take away. He knows the unique places in your heart that are still suffering. He knows where you have been and where you are going. Ask God to help you in this time where you may be feeling unwanted or not good enough for someone. Ask him to remind you of who you are. Click for a sample prayer.

8)  Keep busy- Keeping yourself busy will help distract you from thoughts going in his direction. Find a job, volunteer, start a small group, join one, go visit one of your relatives. Click here for more tips on keeping busy.


Well I hope this helps and I hope you know that this is only for a season. You are worth it! You will move on to better things for you. Your heart will heal and before you know it this will be a distant memory. Nothing is impossible with the Lord on your side. Blessings!

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4, NIV).

I think its time to dance!

Nina Daugherty

Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn't know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God's Word is eternal and has no age limit!




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