Sexual Purity Journey: About Me
As a Christian Speaker on sexual purity, I want to be able to share my story so you know how to walk out your sexual purity journey either for yourself or to help others while also getting to know more about me. Serving as a Christian Youth Leader for 15 years and a Christian Speaker in the area of sexual purity for over 10 years now, God has been able to use my story to reach teenagers across the globe both online and in person helping them in this much needed area of sexual purity in the hopes of improving their relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, themselves, and those around them.
Young Beginnings of Sexual Immorality:
Let’s rewind time for a moment so you can understand why this would be so near and dear to my heart. At the age of six I wanted a pony…just kidding…my story does not begin there but a few years ahead at the age of around nine or ten. I used to sleep over a friend’s house (she was the same age) and when her mom went to bed she would put on pornography. She then started to kiss and touch me. She said it was our secret and I shouldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t.
At the age of twelve, is when I had my first boyfriend and started getting involved in sexual behavior. My parents were divorced and I was with the non-custodial parent on the weekend. This is where supervision was lacking and I got away with a lot of things. It’s without coincidence this was one of the scariest times of my life. My mother was in an abusive relationship and I was being bullied almost every day. Anywhere from getting name called, being pushed and tripped down the hallway, my sneakers were stolen, and fights were common. I felt alone.
I started to cut myself because it made me feel alive. There were so many times where I wished God would just take my life. I was only in 7th grade! I remember one night asking God to take me. I couldn’t stand being here anymore and that’s when I started to feel my soul lifting. It was probably just an inch or two when I yelled “Wait! Umm…okay maybe I don’t want to die yet.” He did stop (obviously I’m still here). However, I did not have a relationship with God because I had no guidance from anyone or know who to turn to for it so I still tried to find the love, acceptance, and affection in the arms of a boy.
Married at 17:
I never grew up learning about sexual purity or hearing anyone doing anything like it. I ended up losing my virginity at the age of seventeen. A few partners later, I ended up getting pregnant after only being in a relationship for four months. I ended up losing that baby but to prove to everyone that I was “truly in love” I ended up getting married, still at the age of seventeen. I didn’t recognize the signs of an abusive relationship like losing friends and my connection with my family, having to change my wardrobe, being cursed at, using fear to keep me around, and this only got worse after I said, “I do” (or maybe that’s when I realized it really was a problem). After losing the first baby, I was in mourning and wanted to get pregnant again, which I did. I got pregnant again at the age of 18 and had my first child right when I turned nineteen.
She was beautiful! I realized, while looking into those beautiful brown eyes, that I needed to get my life together. The abuse didn’t stop and it was embarrassing because it was done in front of friends and family. I clearly remember one night where he threatened my life by saying, “I’m going to kill you and then I’m going to kill myself.” This was no empty threat because this happened to his grandparents so I knew it was “in his blood”. I ran and locked myself in the bathroom with my eighteen-month-old daughter. As I was crying she reached up her little hand and started to dry my tears. This was a major wake up call because if she could recognize at that age that Mommy was crying then how much longer would it be before she will know the abuse. I didn’t want her to think it was okay to be treated this way so I said to God, “I don’t know if you are out there but I need Your help.” Of course, being the loyal and faithful God He is, He came through. A week later, I was able to take my daughter, important papers, some clothes fur us, and never looked back.
Let’s go back for a moment because something happened in between the abuse. I got pregnant shortly after my first child. I was scared. I was the only one working at the time, I was in an abusive relationship, and I had no other resources other than the advice from people to get an abortion. I did. I remember walking into the clinic and being there for seven hours waiting to get called in. We were called in four at a time and I remember feeling like cattle going to the slaughterhouse. The few things I remember was going completely under and waking up by being shaken by the nurse. Everything was rushed. They rushed you out of the stretcher into a chair where they gave you a lollipop (I’m guessing to keep you from throwing up or passing out). I remember this one girl who worked there looking at me through narrowed eyes and said, “Look at her, taking her time, eating her lollipop.” I guess I shouldn’t have expected bedside manner especially after what I just did. Abortions are not over in a few minutes. They last for years. One thing I do know is that I did have a child that day and that baby still lives in my heart.
Alright, are you still with me? Let’s fast forward time. I was in several relationships after my first husband. Even after I found God, I was still being sexually active because I had no idea what sexual purity was or that I should be pursuing it. Although, there was something different that happened. Whenever I was sexually involved with someone, I started to feel dirty and ashamed. I felt turmoil inside. I didn’t know at the time what conviction was and how Holy Spirit functioned. I didn’t realize that once I gave myself to Christ I could no longer continue behaving the same way. My whole world came crashing down in February of ’06 when I contracted an STD.
I made an appointment with my Ob/Gyn to get a shot for birth control (apparently, that’s all I was worried about). Two weeks later I started to get a fever, could barely sit, and my only comfort was a warm bath. I knew something was wrong. My doctor took one look at my face when she walked in and asked me, “What’s wrong?” I told her everything I was feeling and when she checked me, I remember her looking up at me and saying, “This looks like Herpes.” My heart sank, I started to cry, almost fainted right there in the office, and thought to myself, “I’m divorced, a single Mom, and now I have an STD? Who’s going to want me now? I’m dirty.”
9 Months ALONE with Jesus
I remember Jesus saying, “I want you.” I know that sounds cliche but He truly did. He was there when I was crying on the floor. He was my Hope when I had nothing left. He spoke to that broken place in my heart where I thought no one could touch. He showed me what it was to act and think like a lady. He needed to renew my mind because I believed what the world was telling me which was, “Go for yours” or “If you don’t have sex with your boyfriend, someone else will.” I truly believed the lie, “If you give him what he wants, he will give you what you want.” I noticed my words were vulgar, the way I dressed was inappropriate, I took on the male role of pursuer in relationships, and I was having sex with no boundaries. For the first time since I was twelve years old, I was going to be single. For nine months, He cleaned and restored me. I was in the most fulfilling relationship I have ever known. He showed me what love really looked like.
I made a pact with God (which I tried to go against a few times by going on a few dates but was learning to stop being disobedient and stay single from the funny not so funny situations I was getting myself in), I told God, “Since I have bad luck with men, I know he will be from You if You send him.” I was giving total control to God. I would not tell any male if I liked him, ask anyone out on dates, or have sexual relations until I was married!
My sexual purity journey had begun and my motto used to be, “My virginity is like my faith, born again!”
Time to rewind time just a month before I contracted the STD, when I saw my awaited husband for the first time. He was getting baptized the same night my little sister was. When I first saw him I remember thinking three things, 1) “What service does he go to?” 2) “Wow…he’s hot…” and 3) hearing God speak to me saying “Imagine you were looking at your future husband.?” I remember laughing to myself and thinking, “Wow, he’s hot but relax. Marriage?!” Of course, I have learned since then not to laugh when God speaks. We didn’t get to meet that night but several months later at a bible study at my church.
I could get into all the gushy details but we’ll save that for future articles. I also want to save your eyelids and time so I’ll just cut to the chase. I did what I said. I waited for his lead. He called me first, he asked me out first, he told me he liked me and then loved me first, he gave me the first kiss, and he asked me to marry him, *giggling like a little girl*. Most of all, we waited to have sex before marriage. Believe me, it was not easy. There were many challenges to overcome and it was pretty close to the pain and agony of giving birth. However, we made it to the finish line.
Wedding Night: Rated G:
I remember standing in the bathroom with my wedding night attire (that’s what I’m calling it to hopefully keep minds from wandering while still being able to tell this beautiful part of the story), looking into the mirror, giggling like a little girl, and blushing! I finally understood what it meant to be a “blushing bride”! God had restored what was lost and it allowed me to experience His original design for sex, which included this innocence about it. I didn’t have to worry about what people would say, getting caught, getting pregnant, or whether or not he was going to call me the next day. This was MY husband. The one who would keep our intimate details to himself. I could cuddle and not have to leave to go home. He was my home. To be perfectly honest, it was the BEST sex ever! I was free from all the worries and I was able to just enjoy my newly wedded husband!! For all those that said sex is better outside of marriage, NO WAY!! This was way better and much more fulfilling. Knowing I was worth waiting for and to have someone come through fully!
Personal Info/Life Update:
I am a Jesus Nerd who loves books, coffee, my family, and leading the next generation/generations to the feet of Jesus Christ. I have an Associate’s in Criminal Justice from RCC, a Bacherlor’s of Psychology from Grand Canyon University, and a Master’s of Religion from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.
Besides my home ministry, including homeschooling, I first felt called to Youth Ministry because of what happened to me mentioned above, and have spent the last 15 years serving in Youth Ministry at various churches, both preaching and teaching the Word of God, and spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ at various Christian events. Since this blog started in 2012, I have also built this online ministry to span the globe through my blog websites christianyouthmagazine and howtoloveyourteenager, Youtube Channel: NinaSlay4Christ, and other videos across various social media outlets like Pinterest and TikTok. I have also felt called to help parents and caregivers of teens by giving them practical tips on parenting and/or leading the next generation into walking out their own Christian life.
I have now been married 15 years and I am a mother to my beautiful daughters. I have lived within 3o minutes of NYC for most of my life, and have experienced people of all types of races, cultures, and socioeconomic statuses. I am blessed to be God the Father’s hands and feet in furthering His Kingdom, under the power and authority of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and through the direction of the Holy Spirit.
There you have it. My testimony and some life updates! Please note: My testimony is not only for those who have been through what I’ve been through and can see that there is still hope for a beautiful, Godly, relationship, wedding, and marriage, but it is also for those who can take my story and make it theirs so they don’t have to go through what I went through. For those virgins and/or born-again virgins, He will meet you where you are, but you must move with Him. He won’t let you stay there. He loves you too much. Find out the how through this sexual purity ministry!
Thank. You. Jesus.
Baskets of Blessings,