Updated: January 24, 2019

Christian Teen Dating: Questions to Ask Before Starting a Relationship

Christian teen dating can sometimes be so challenging. Having some idea on what questions to ask before starting a relationship can help set you up for achieving some relationship goals. You may also want to consider some questions before going on a date. Click here for some ideas on that.

Let’s face it, at some point of anyone’s dating history we have encountered or have been recommended to someone who has “potential”. It could be someone who’s been hustlin’ but has a good heart, a player who is simply misunderstood, a former church member who has lost their way. Whatever the reason, somewhere we or somebody else has seen the “potential” of what this person COULD be. However, isn’t it true that we all have “potential” to be better than where we are? So where do we draw the line?

The main issue we have to recognize here is the belief that WE can change them.

There is a sense of control and power when we feel someone has changed just for us. A player who has changed his ways for us, makes us feel extra special. I remember seeing this almost as a challenge. Who doesn’t love the idea of making over someone especially when it comes to love? However, the little changes that were made I found they didn’t last and I was often left broken hearted. Think about it.

Did you ever occur to you that the enemy could be using that person as a distraction for the person you are actually supposed to be with?

Wanting to change someone goes back to the same reason why we fell in the first place back in the Garden of Eden, we wanted to be like God.

“So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate” (Gen. 3:6).

It’s nice to be a good role model for someone and be an inspiration to be a better person but in matters of the heart I would proceed with caution or not at all. Here are some things to take into consideration:

Questions to Ask Before Starting a Relationship

1)  God is the ONLY one who can change someone.- We must recognize that any positive change in someone is from the Lord. “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17). The change is not because of our power but from the grace of God.

2)  How is their relationship with the Lord?– True change can only be initiated by the Word of God. “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Heb. 4:12). If they have a poor relationship with God or don’t have one at all, by whose definition are they building their life on? Many of us know the devastation and danger of living by our own definition of what constitutes right and wrong.

3)  Would you marry them right now as they are?– Dating and courting was traditionally the first step in the serious minded process of getting married. Now it’s considered more of a just for fun, nothing else to do, type of game. If you can look at this person, right now not where they could “potentially” be, and without a shadow of a doubt see them as your spouse forever and the parent of your babies, then proceed. Otherwise I wouldn’t bother until God brings them to a place where they need to be. Keep that in mind for yourself as well. 😉

Remember I’m not suggesting we are perfect, we all need to realize our potential to be better than where we are. “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns” (Philip. 1:6). We will never be “there” until we are in the presence of the Almighty. However, movement is key in all of our lives. To guarantee movement is to define our life by God and NOTHING or NO ONE else.

Basket of Blessings!

Nina Daugherty

Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn’t know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God’s Word is eternal and has no age limit!