One of the most asked questions with teen relationships is, “Should I date him?” If you find yourself asking this question, I’m giving you a high five. Some teens jump into teen relationships without even asking if they should.
By answering this question, it may help you avoid wasting time and physical energy. However, before asking, “Should I date him?”, maybe the first question should be, “Am I ready for a relationship?” Make sure to check out: “Christian Teen Dating: Am I Ready for a Relationship? 7 Signs to Look Out For” for help in answering that question.
Teen relationships have the possibility of being both Godly and healthy, some teen relationships I personally know have led into marriage. It can happen! There have also been some teens who are constantly having issues in any relationship they get into. Click on the video below to see why that might be.
One of my teens recently confided in me that she had a crush on someone. This news was a little shocking because of the controversy surrounding this person of interest and their dating history of a dating a new girl every week.
Wanting her to feel comfortable and safe in opening up I asked her what she liked about him. She told me, “Well I think he’s funny and has a nice personality.” I replied, “Fair enough but what do you think about all the drama with him and his prior dating partners (one of them being her close friend)?” “Well I feel stupid for liking him and I don’t know why I do or what to do.”
Now she is not the first and definitely won’t be the last person to feel silly for falling for someone who is not the best choice for a teen relationship but the question still remains, what does she do now?
The enemy loves to tempt Godly ladies with “bad boys” and vice versa with tempting Godly guys with “bad girls”.
You see the enemy isn’t going to tempt you with the kid who annoys you in 6th period class, the guy who has been friendzoned, or the guy who is a little creepy at your job. The enemy will often tempt you with the “bad boy”, the one who pushes limits, rebellious, challenging to authority, and even someone who calls themselves a “believer”. Click HERE for another post about bad boys.
Regardless, you must also remember what the Word of God says, “….God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor. 10:13). Read on for some tips on what to do when faced with this dilemma.
Teen Relationships: 3 Quick Questions When Asking, “Should I Date Him?”
1) What is he like overall?
There’s at least ONE quality in everyone that makes them desirable.
The tip here is to look at the WHOLE package.
Sure he may be funny but ask yourself a few questions. Is it at the expense of others? Is he just trying to get attention from girls including yourself? Is it appropriate? What other traits are there about him? Who does he hang out with? Is he prone to getting into trouble? Does he have anger issues?
These are all important questions because you will get dragged into his drama. I can’t tell you how many fights I would get into with other girls because of who I was with, but I also didn’t have Jesus Christ in my life so I didn’t know how to deal with this.
Lord Jesus Christ, expose this person to me and show me anything I may be missing. I give You authority to speak to me personally, send people to show me, or send me information I may not otherwise know without Your exposure.
2) Can I wait?
I know waiting can be difficult especially when it comes to matters of the heart. It’s almost like there is a sense of hurry when responding to someone who is interested in you, but moving fast can cost you. Remember, we are in an era where at the click of a button, we are used to having what we want, when we want, and oftentimes we can approach teen relationships the same way too.
When seeking out a Godly and healthy teen relationship, it needs to be approached differently.
The key to knowing if someone is truly into you versus being next on his list is to wait.
Waiting will show you if he is really into you. Waiting will show you how he really is. Waiting will show you what the Lord has to say on the matter. How long should you wait? This is where prayer comes in. Sometimes, it can take hours, days, weeks, or more. In my teen’s case, it only took a couple of weeks to see his true colors. Unfortunately, she was only the next person on his list and he moved on. However, it saved her deep heart ache because we witnessed how he continued to treat girls and it wasn’t good at all.
Again, it’s better to find out now rather than investing in more time and feelings with someone who is only interested in himself.
Lord Jesus Christ, help me to be patient, help me to wait well, and in Your presence.
3) Does this relationship have integrity?
You want to start a relationship on the right foot not only with God and yourself, but with others too. Sometimes, teen relationships start with a lot of drama. When I was a teenager, I had friends who would date each other’s exes. I’ve seen teens date questionable people that everyone had been warning them about. I’ve seen teen relationships tear families and church bodies apart.
A Godly and healthy relationship will bring people together not drive them apart.
There is safety and strength in numbers. If this is the person for you, then the people you have loved and trusted throughout the years should be able to agree with your choice. If they don’t, then they may be seeing something you’re not able to see. Again, you may want to go back to the other tips above and see if they are truly for you.
I have been a fool, dated fools, and have done foolish things. If I listened to those who were warning me, I would’ve saved myself so much harm. Please, don’t be a fool.
Lord Jesus Christ, help to seek out Godly wisdom from those around me who are Godly, healthy, and trustworthy. Help me to receive what they say even if I can’t see it. Teach me to listen, think, and decide well.
Hopefully, these questions can be a foundation in your thought process to help you decide whether or not you should date him. Remember, teen relationships can be Godly and healthy. They have the potential and ability to truly be a beautiful part of life. They are fun to witness and a blessing to be a part of. However, like with anything, it must be done in wisdom. Take God with you on this journey because we need His help in all things, especially in love.
Baskets of Blessings!
Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn’t know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God’s Word is eternal and has no age limit!