Being married at a young age thrives on the prayers of the husband and wife. It’s important to know how to pray for your spouse regardless of age. I say that with a smile because I know this from experience; one thing marriage will definitely teach you is how to pray. When the guests have long gone home, you have opened all your gifts, your tan is fading from the honeymoon, and the wedding celebrations are over there you two are. If you didn’t have the experience of living together already, then you are in for a few surprises.
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You are both unveiled to each other not just in the bedroom but in everyday life.
This means the toothpaste either tastes different or is squeezed differently. You’ll find out who is the messiest, who likes to take long showers, who doesn’t like washing the car, and all these fun little tidbits you may have otherwise paid no attention to during the dating phase.
In the beginning, it may be cute, something to laugh at or poke fun at, maybe talk about it while out with friends, but when times start to get tough it might not seem so cute. All of a sudden, these little things become part of the pile of dirty laundry that starts to smell if it’s not taken care of periodically.
Side Note: Please be aware and ask for wisdom when it comes to abusive behavior. Hitting, cursing at, demeaning, degrading, and any other form of abusive behavior is never okay and needs to be dealt within the safety of your support group. Jesus Christ would never want you in a life-threatening situation. Also, abusive behavior is not just male to female. It can also be female to male. Seek help.
Truth: There’s nothing wrong with being married at a young age.
In fact, I will promote young marriage any day of the week. There are so many positive elements to being married young that I will probably do a follow-up post to this one about it. You will know this too if you know the Word of God and what IT has to say versus what the world wants you to believe.
Truth: You don’t have the luxury of not knowing the Word of God especially in marriage.
Sin is magnified and has deeper consequences when it’s done within a marriage because the world is watching along with little eyes if children are involved. This is not to scare you away from marriage but to put the emphasis on how powerful the covenant of God is. The enemy will seek to destroy every aspect of it through not just your generation but also through the generations that are coming up through you.
Truth: You don’t have the luxury of not knowing how to pray for your legacy and it starts with your marriage.
Praying and marriage must go hand in hand otherwise you are leaving open doors for spiritual warfare in your home especially when you are married at a young age, the enemy seems to come harder at those because they don’t have years under their belt yet. Praying must be constant, real, and done through the power of Jesus Christ.
Here are some prayers to start with. They can be your guide when you don’t even know what to pray for because either your hurt is too deep or your mind is too full. I also pray they can be proactive prayers. Prayers that will set the foundation for your marriage before the storm comes and that’s honestly how it should be set up.
Feel free to not just pray these prayers together but also during your individual prayer time:
1) Pray for the healthy space needed to grow (2 Cor. 3:18)–
This does not mean needing a break from each other in the sense that you separate from each other. This may mean letting the person walk away for a time either in the next room or go out to take a walk to process their feelings. It might mean letting them talk to their Christian support group of men or women alone so they have the ability to be open and honest without the threat of hurting your feelings. Pray for the space where feelings are processed and knowledge is attained to better your marriage.
2) Pray for the right Christian support group for both you and your spouse (Psalm 1:1)–
Who you both talk to you is so important, it can bring death or life to your marriage. In the last part of the scripture stated above it states, “…nor sits in the seat of scoffers;” and this part of the scripture many young and marrieds either miss or don’t even know. Scoffers are people who make fun of something and not just in a playful way but with contempt and bitterness. Marriage is not held with honor in this world. If we bring our marital problems to these kind of people, we can almost guarantee it will be death.
3) Pray for the time where either one or both of you are being molded (Prov. 27:17)–
Molding, although needed to be transformed into God’s design for our lives, can be painful. It can also be humbling, embarrassing, painful, and pull out all kinds of negative feelings. Pray for your husband or wife during this time so they can endure and be all God has equipped Him to be. Change is not easy. We don’t want to be puffed up with pride during their molding. We want to be patient and loving.
4) Pray for patience (Rom. 12:12)–
If you have been a Christian for a while, you will often hear, “Don’t pray for patience because God will put you in situations where you will need lots of it.” However, this is such a needed prayer. In this Instagram worthy world, where we see everyone’s highlight reels and not the process they went through in order to achieve certain successes. We can assume everything is achieved immediately including awesome marriages. If our marriage doesn’t measure up, we have the “right” to find someone else who will. This is not the case. Marriage takes time to mature and praying for patience will help combat those times where we feel like nothing is happening.
5) Pray for the work needed to help cultivate a fruitful marriage (Gal. 6:9)–
Cultivating is the work it takes to make marriage a fruitful and beautiful thing. It causes you to problem solve, focus in, figure out what works and what doesn’t, knowing what kills the fruit and what makes it grow, and all these other things which add to the growth and health of a marriage. Time is a gift given to us by the Lord because we take time both in and out of marriage. Don’t be afraid of the work, be afraid of staying the same.
6) Pray for the different seasons of your marriage (Eccl. 3:4)–
Marriages will go through all types of seasons and the reality is this is life in general. There will be times of growth, there will be times of mourning, there are times of celebrating, times of rejoicing, resting, you name it. Pray for the different seasons and be aware when you are either entering or leaving one. Pray for the wisdom to know the difference, how to handle them, and for your marriage to grow stronger rather than weaker.
7) Pray for your friendship (Prov. 18:24)–
Yes, you can be friends. In fact, friendship is part of the fruit and harvest. Your spouse should be your BFF. People spend hundreds of dollars in therapy to get great communication skills with their spouse. Most people have misconceptions about it. Just because you are friends doesn’t mean your sex life automatically becomes boring. Marriage is the real definition of friends with benefits. The world always wants to twist God’s gifts and the definition of marriage, sex, and friendship are just a few of the many.
8) Pray for your sex life (Gen. 2:24)–
Oftentimes, there are hurts or previous traumas that can hinder a sexual relationship with your husband or wife. Pray for these times. Sex is a gift given to us from the Lord and it is part of His original design. This is why He talks about it in the first book of the Bible. It was intended to bond, bring forth life, and enjoyment. Sexual enjoyment didn’t happen after the fall. It’s not something the devil created. The devil doesn’t want us to enjoy anything let alone intimacy with our spouse. Pray for the time to be intimate, pray for protection over your intimate time, pray for purity in marriage so it doesn’t hinder your intimacy or break trust, and pray for the enjoyment of your spouse.
9) Pray to lean in on your identity in Christ when you are going through challenges with your husband or wife (Heb. 4:16)–
You are going to go through challenges in marriage. The key component which separates a married couple in Christ and couples who don’t know Jesus Christ is Jesus Christ. A spouse can become someone’s world and identity. If that world comes crashing down, so does the person. Our identity must always be in Jesus Christ first. It will help sustain us when we go through trials. It will help us be reminded of who we are when we feel less than. Marriage challenges our inner belief system about who we are. It won’t always match up to how your spouse feels about you and this is part of the learning. Not just with how we view each other but also how we view ourselves and how to behave in that. Identity in Christ will be the foundation still standing even when everything else feels like its falling apart.
10) Pray to know and understand the Word of God better, so you can be better (John 17:17)–
Even though our spouse can make a lot of mistakes, we must be in the Word of God to learn how to handle each situation including ourselves.
We can only be a better version of ourselves through the Word of God.
Learning what be patient and kind looks like in the eyes of the Father. Knowing what it means to sacrifice and die to ourselves so our marriage can be better. Examining the definition of purity now as a married person and keeping true to your vows even through temptation. If we don’t know what God expects from us, it will be very easy to fall and bring our house down with us.
Pray the Word of God will open up to you and bring you understanding and clarity for every situation. Build a relationship with the Lord so you can be aware and in tune with His voice. He is a Stunning Father and Redeemer Who will always have your good in mind even when it feels bad.
Prayer is the most powerful yet often underutilized weapon for marriage and for those married at a young age may not have even understood what to pray for. We overlook it because we may not see fruit right away or we have not come to the FULL realization of what our salvation means and how that connects with our relationship to the Father. Prayer breaks down strongholds, it reveals what is in darkness, it brings peace when we don’t understand, it creates a relationship with our Creator so we don’t just use it to get something but to know the Great I Am.
It is the breath of our worship to the Almighty King.
I pray this will help start you on the right foundation or give you ideas on what else to pray for. Keep praying and you will see just how glorious marriage can really be.
Basket of Blessings,
Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn’t know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God’s Word is eternal and has no age limit!